100 Good Roasts That Burn So Bad

Roasting someone is an art. It takes skill, timing, and the perfect blend of humor and insult. Whether you want to make a friend laugh or assert your wit, having a collection of Good Roasts​ is essential. Below is a list of 100 roasts that burn so bad, they’ll leave everyone speechless.

1-25: Classic and Clever Roasts

1. You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
   This roast works because it twists a compliment into a savage insult.

2. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
   Perfect for someone who refuses to admit they are mistaken.

3. You have something on your chin… no, the third one down.
   Highlighting a flaw without being direct can sting more than you think.

4. You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
   Simple and visual, yet painfully effective.

5. Your secrets are safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
   A subtle burn on someone who loves to talk.

6. You have something in common with my wifi… weak signal.
   Modern, relatable, and stings just right.

7. You bring everyone together… by being the topic of gossip.
   A clever social jab.

8. You have something on your face… oh wait, that’s just your face.
   A classic insult that never fails.

9. I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.
   Perfect for someone who struggles to understand basic ideas.

10. Your secrets are safe with me… I never even bother to remember them.
    Twisting trust into a burn makes it double the impact.

11. You bring everyone down… to your level.
    Short, concise, and memorable.

12. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than that.
    A ridiculous comparison that stings the ego.

13. You have something in common with your reflection… it’s only interesting for five seconds.
    An image-based burn that hits hard.

14. You are proof that even evolution takes a break sometimes.
    A sharp, clever twist on science and insult.

15. You bring happiness… when you’re not around.
    Simple, effective, and hits at the right angle.

16. Your face makes onions cry.
    Short, brutal, and visual.

17. You’re as useless as the ‘g’ in lasagna.
    Wordplay meets insult in a neat little package.

18. You have an entire life to be anyone, but you chose… that.
    A burn that highlights poor choices in a humorous way.

19. You’re proof that even bad decisions deserve a face.
    Twists the insult back to their existence itself.

20. You bring drama… like a soap opera with commercials.
    Funny and relatable, perfect for attention-seekers.

21. I’d call you a tool… but even tools serve a purpose.
    A classic one-liner with punch.

22. You have a face for radio.
    Short, cultural, and instantly understandable.

23. You’re the human version of a typo.
    Combines humor with subtle insult.

24. Your talent is hiding… really well.
    Underhanded, sarcastic, and perfectly cutting.

25. You bring excitement… like watching paint dry.
    A gentle but firm roasting of someone boring.

26-50: Clever Wordplay and Puns

26. You’re like a software update… nobody asked for you.
    Tech humor meets social burn.

27. You’re like a cloud… mostly useless and full of hot air.
    A double-layered visual burn.

28. Your personality is like a dial-up connection… painfully slow.
    Perfect for anyone who’s just… slow.

29. You’re as sharp as a marble.
    Short, funny, and perfectly ridiculous.

30. You bring the same joy as a Monday morning alarm.
    Relatable and humorous.

31. You have the charisma of a soggy sock.
    Odd comparison, but it stings.

32. You’re like a software bug… annoying and unavoidable.
    Modern, clever, and burns softly.

33. You bring light… only in your own imagination.
    A poetic burn that cuts deep.

34. You’re the human version of a participation trophy.
    Funny, accurate, and slightly cruel.

35. You have something in common with the ocean… mostly empty.
    Visual and insulting at the same time.

36. You’re the reason we can’t have nice things.
    Short, effective, and universally understood.

37. Your ego is so big, it needs its own zip code.
    A mix of humor and exaggeration.

38. You’re like a puzzle with missing pieces… impossible to complete.
    Clever, wordplay-based burn.

39. You bring confusion… like a badly translated sign.
    Relatable and funny.

40. Your voice could be used as a warning signal.
    A humorous jab without overcomplicating.

41. You’re like decaf coffee… disappointing.
    Simple, effective, and clever.

42. You have the charm of a wet sponge.
    Odd, funny, and painfully insulting.

43. You’re a cloud with no silver lining.
    Short, poetic, and perfectly roasting.

44. You have the intelligence of a dial tone.
    Modern, short, and stings.

45. You’re a human participation ribbon.
    Mixing humor and insult efficiently.

46. You bring excitement… only in horror stories.
    Clever and memorable.

47. You’re like a puzzle… confusing and incomplete.
    Simple wordplay with impact.

48. You’re the reason some doors have “Do Not Enter” signs.
    Funny, visual, and brutal.

49. Your brain is like a locked safe… mostly empty.
    Humorous and biting.

50. You bring the thrill… only like a slow internet connection.
    Combines modern life and humor perfectly.

51-75: Sarcastic and Savage Roasts

51. You’re like a cloud… annoying and blocking the sun.
    Simple, clever, and slightly poetic.

52. Your face could scare mirrors.
    Short, visual, and powerful.

53. You bring joy… to comedians who roast people.
    Funny and clever.

54. You have the warmth of a refrigerator.
    Simple metaphor, brutally effective.

55. You’re like a broken pencil… pointless.
    Classic, short, and funny.

56. Your personality is like expired milk… sour and unwanted.
    A food metaphor that stings.

57. You bring excitement… only to disaster movies.
    Twists humor with reality.

58. You’re like WiFi in the woods… unreliable and frustrating.
    Modern, funny, and relatable.

59. You have the grace of a falling brick.
    Short, simple, and highly visual.

60. Your voice should come with subtitles.
    Funny, sarcastic, and clever.

61. You’re a human software glitch.
    Modern and simple, yet effective.

62. You bring happiness… only if it’s sarcasm.
    A subtle twist that stings.

63. You’re like a spoiler… nobody asked for it.
    Clever and modern.

64. You have the impact of a damp feather.
    Funny and insulting.

65. You’re the reason some instructions have pictures.
    Simple, visual, and effective.

66. You bring the charm… only to horror movies.
    Short, sarcastic, and effective.

67. You’re like an expired coupon… useless and forgotten.
    Humorous and relatable.

68. Your sense of humor is like a broken clock… right only twice a day.
    Clever, visual, and stings.

69. You bring attention… only in the wrong ways.
    Simple, short, and humorous.

70. You’re like decaf tea… disappointing every time.
    Subtle, yet painful.

71. You have the taste of stale bread.
    Visual and funny.

72. You’re like a flat tire… annoying and slowing everyone down.
    Simple metaphor that stings.

73. Your brain is like a sponge… but it never absorbed anything.
    Clever and biting.

74. You bring inspiration… only to horror writers.
    Funny, sarcastic, and effective.

75. You’re like an old meme… outdated and ignored.
    Modern, relatable, and humorous.

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76-100: Modern, Savage, and Unforgettable Roasts

76. You’re like a phone with no signal… useless when we need you most.
    A modern, visual roast that hits perfectly.

77. Your ideas are like expired milk… sour and rejected.
    Short, relatable, and painful.

78. You bring style… only if mismatched socks are a trend.
    Funny, sarcastic, and memorable.

79. You’re the human equivalent of a participation ribbon.
    Reinforces humor while highlighting mediocrity.

80. Your personality is like elevator music… bland and unavoidable.
    Simple, clever, and painfully accurate.

81. You’re like a broken GPS… always leading people the wrong way.
    Modern metaphor for constant mistakes.

82. You bring joy… only in horror stories about friends.
    Short, sarcastic, and funny.

83. You have the charm of a traffic jam.
    Relatable and instantly understood.

84. You’re like a cloudy day… depressing and unnecessary.
    Visual and poetic, yet stings.

85. Your sense of style is like expired milk… smells bad and makes people uncomfortable.
    A playful twist with visual impact.

86. You bring excitement… only like a pop quiz nobody studied for.
    Clever, sarcastic, and painfully accurate.

87. You’re like a forgotten password… frustrating and annoying.
    Modern, relatable, and funny.

88. Your brain is like a web browser with too many tabs… slow and about to crash.
    Clever tech-inspired burn.

89. You have the warmth of a freezer.
    Short, simple, and insulting.

90. You’re like a phone battery at 1%… barely surviving and mostly useless.
    Modern metaphor everyone can understand.

91. You bring attention… only by being completely unbearable.
    Sarcastic, sharp, and visual.

92. You’re like decaf coffee… nobody’s first choice.
    Short, modern, and funny.

93. Your ideas are like soggy fries… disappointing and hard to enjoy.
    Food-based humor that stings.

94. You bring charm… like a wasp at a picnic.
    Funny, irritating, and memorable.

95. You’re like a WiFi hotspot with no password… everybody ignores you.
    Modern, witty, and simple.

96. Your face could be used to scare people into doing their homework.
    Humorous, visual, and brutal.

97. You bring happiness… only to people who like sarcasm.
    A subtle, clever burn that still lands.

98. You’re like a broken umbrella… you only show up when things get worse.
    Visual, funny, and slightly poetic.

99. Your personality is like a soggy sandwich… nobody wants it.
    Simple, food-related, and memorable.

100. You bring excitement… like a Monday morning alarm clock.
     A classic, relatable, and perfect finishing burn.

These 100 roasts are curated to deliver maximum burn with cleverness, humor, and modern relatability. Each one counts as Good Roasts, perfect for anyone looking to sharpen their wit or leave friends laughing while slightly wincing.